Monday, 6 February 2017

That looks terrible!

Me with Boy Bishop.
Boy Bishop has a mitre, and hair.
I have neither
There are many wonderful things about not having much hair left. God in His wisdom has taken it away, and so I am most thin on top. I tend to think of it in terms of St Etheldreda, who had a goiter on her throat in later life, which she put down to enjoying wearing sparkly necklaces when she was young. In my youth I enjoyed my hair far too much.

Neck covering must be hiding the goiter
I would gel it, and back comb it, and dye it black. I treated it terribly badly, and took far too much delight in it. So I think that one of the reasons for the current lack-of-hair business can be traced back to that. Of course there are some (ha!) who would spuriously claim that years of treating my hair badly may have led to its not being present any more... but I laugh at such a simplistic explanation and prefer to think of God sending celestial beings whenever I am asleep and cutting off my hair with heavenly scissors. This, I am sure, will be mystically returned to me at the general resurrection of the dead.

Type of scissors reputedly used by angels
in the nightly activities to punish wayward ex-Goths
for an over fondness for their hairstyles
in their younger days.
So, with not much hair, I need not worry about 'bad hair days'. I need not worry that it is all sticking up, making me look like a toilet brush. Or that it is strangely flattened at the back, meaning that the offender has just woken from sleep. And there is never the worry of whiplash caused by an over eager comb-over.

This is EXACTLY what I used to look like with bed hair.
I have no need to worry about such things.

Of course I can still have an unfortunate photo taken, even if my hair is fine.

So I feel sorry for the Pope, because those naughty men who put up all the pictures of him in Rome were really mean and used a terrible photo.

Terrible photo. They should have used one of him which was all smiley.
Do you know, I wouldn't be surprised if they even did it on purpose.

Still, his hair's OK.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...