Wednesday, 7 December 2016

I’ve just discovered J

NO this is not some ghastly drug, which leaves the recipient comatose and open to all manner of suggestions: like… it’s better to have the liturgy in English, Vegemite is an acceptable replacement for Marmite, watching Youtube in the library counts as work (yep, I’m in the library and that is exactly what the chap opposite me is doing. OK, OK so I’m writing a blog post but sheesh! Youtube, really?!)

Rather it is a mystical drive. It is a place which exists and yet doesn’t exist. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury… no hang on that last one is a lime from Macbeth. It is a J drive.

This is something which my beloved university, by the grace of God, Durham, provides for people. You do something to your computer and it finds the J drive, then you put copies of your work there and its safe, even if your computer is eaten by a wild mountain goat, and your USB key finds itself in the inner parts of a wallaby. Yes even then, your work is safe. Safe as houses. Safe as houses all called ‘J’.

I mention this for it would have been good to have found out about mystical J before I lost my USB key and all of my work. Yep, all of it. I had to go seriously Zen. I lost it for about three weeks.

Eventually I found it in the mud, soaked through, next to the place where I park my car, and mirabile dictu, even after being out in the elements for three weeks, it worked.  And so, dear reader, I married it. No, that’s not right. And so dear reader, I made myself the promise never to do anything so mind numbingly stupid again.

And now I have found J and my life is complete. J will help me. J will be my friend. J will look out for me when times get tough and I’ve lost my way (and all my PhD work).

And do you know what? J is the first letter of the German translation of the vocalised transliteration of the Name of the LORD in the Old Testament.

WHO can believe in coincidence after that????


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